The stories of so many women I've talked to about their own menarches have been, quite frankly either terrorising for a young teen or just plain pathetic. Mine was just plain humiliating. I had a small bleed that lasted maybe a day or two. No one had explained a lot to me, just what I'd read in some 'not like reality' scientifically based puberty books I'd read when I was 5 or 6, so I wasn't expecting a little one to come, and then two weeks later a full on one to appear when I was in class with 30 other people! The blood had soaked through my school dress, and onto the seat. The class was the worst possible choice for such an incident - wood work. My teacher actually laughed along with all the other students. He was probably embaressed and didn't know how to react, but..!! My parents made me go back to school same day and face the humiliation that can only be dished out by pubestants penned into cages can. A girl who I thought was my friend actually threw tampons and pads at me in front of two grades worth of people.
Well needless to say, I want my daughters experience not to echo anything I had to experience, but be a beautiful, welcoming into the world of womanhood. I had been thinking about this for months actually, since Labyrinth had already started Thelarche I knew it was coming. I had guessed it might happen around Dantes birthday and had started to plan for it. I was never expecting it was going to happen roughly a week before Christmas!! (I had also begun preparations for Litha too - now that I'm pagan.)
So she told me that morning it had begun, she was excited about it, we'd actually discussed preforming a menarche ritual and having a lovely meal, I wanted it to be a party with other friends, but that wasn't to be. So, to begin with Labyrinth enjoyed a bath with rose petals through it, and some incense oils infused into the bath. I put around her white, pink and red candles. I left her to enjoy that (I was flat out working on the meal), then I painted her with the best thing I had - face paint! I made goddess symbols, spirals around her body, and I told her she had gone into the water innocent, now she rose as a full maiden. She wore red silk shirt (that went to her knees) for the rest of the night so some of the marks were visable.
I read her a dedication, invited the goddess and again welcomed Labyrinth to womanhood in front of the family, and we enjoyed non-alcholic red wine as a toast. We then ate a red meat roast with salad, with red onions, fetta, red lettuce and tomotoes and fetta. The colours of white. pink and red where echoed through out. I had prepared the cupcakes above, a beautiful red velvet cupcake I can't take credit for - it came from the Zombie Cupcake book by Zilly Rosen (totally recommended.) I just made red icing and put strawberries on top. We later gave her a gift, it was a doll, and a bouquet of red flowers.
Its a memory she can cherish forever, knowing she has parents that love her enough to try and make positive and lasting memories for her!